Toddler Narrative

[Scene:  Liam and I are in my bedroom when he spontaneously goes over to the doorway and puts his hands on either side of the door frame — one arm inside the room and one outside.]

Liam:  OOOOH!  Pick up da wall!  Pick it up!  OOOOOH!  OH MY!  SO HEAVY!  Pick up the wall and moo like a cow.  MOO!  Cow pick up da wall!  Cow so strong!  MOO!  [momentary pause]  Liam so strong!  Liam pick up da wall!  Liam MOO!

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I really wish I could just take a tiny peek into his head to see what makes him say the things he says.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

So today was pretty much a perfect day (visit to Liam’s hairdresser with a sobbing toddler notwithstanding).  First off, I finally got to indulge in the gyro I’ve been craving for the past month (since we were in Decatur and could drop by Athens on our way back home).  Then we got home and I got a call from the director at our first choice preschool telling us that there’s a space for Liam for next school year (I can’t tell you how worried I was about this one).   Lastly, I got an early Valentine’s Day present from my wonderful husband, so we’re celebrating now!  Here it is:

BOB!

We’ve been hemming and hawing for some time about strollers because we couldn’t decide if we A) wanted to (or were able to) spend a lot of money on a stroller and B) wanted to wait until we have two children to get a new one and then spring for the double-stroller version.  We had already gone for a “test drive” at REI and since then I’ve coveted these things almost as much as the Odyssey, but it wasn’t the right time financially so we just waited.  The issues with our current stroller are that the brake sticks (causing an awful whap-whap-whap noise while in use) and the steering is so difficult that going on a long walk with my son causes me to have carpel tunnel syndrome (seriously).  I’ve stopped walking to the park because the stroller makes me hurt and we don’t have sidewalks for the entire route and I don’t think that Liam would make it all the way there without assistance.  Today all of that ended and I’m SO excited!

Matt had apparently been stalking BOBs on Craigslist for months, but each time a decent deal became available it was snapped up before he could do anything about it.  Today his luck changed.  He ran out and picked it up immediately and pulled into our driveway at 4:30 (about two hours earlier than usual) with a surprise in the trunk.  The whole thing was a surprise, in fact.  Such a surprise that here’s what was going through my mind as I watched him finishing an insanely long (at least from my perspective inside the house, what with my imagination running completely amok) phone conversation inside the car:  unexpected early arrival + long phone conversation = somebody died.  Seriously — after 20 minutes of watching this I was going completely insane watching from the living room, but it’s rude to interrupt someone’s phone call, especially if they’re grieving, so I left him alone.

Then, when he FINALLY came inside he went to change Liam’s diaper and insisted that we take a walk to “talk” which only made me more insane.  Until, that is, he told me that I wouldn’t need the stroller that I’d pulled out to use.  Then I knew that it was all good news.  I don’t squeal, but as close as I get to squealing is what happened in the driveway this afternoon.  Then we took a walk around the neighborhood.  I can steer with one hand.  I can activate the brake by pulling the safety strap.  There’s no whap-whap-whapping to be heard.  It rolls on the grass without effort or incident.  It easily fits into the trunk of Matt’s car (without removal of all the crap that currently lives back there — which means that it would easily fit into my car, or, you know, a van, *ahem*).

Plus, it was sunny and not too cold.  How much more perfect could a day get?

Toddler Conversation

Today, Liam made a call on his phone to his Granddaddy.  This is what I could hear:

Liam:  Oh Hi, Granddaddy!  How you doin’ today?  How Gran doing today?  Granddaddy working?  Dad still at work.  He come home soon.  I see birdie!  Birdie say cheep, cheep, cheep and tweet, tweet, tweet.  Birdie up in da tree.  I LOVE trees.  You love trees, Granddaddy?  Trees have leaves.  You like a train?  I LOVE trains.  I have a ambulance.  A ambulance make sounds!  I have big boy underwear.  Tell Mama and Daddy have to go pee.  Tell Mama and Daddy have to go poop.  I have a penis.  Where is it?  Oh, bye bye Granddaddy.  Love you so much.  Bye, bye.

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Sometimes I wish I could just keep him at this age forever.

Potty Humor

While I thought about a lot of things when I was pregnant with Liam and it was confirmed that he was a boy, the fact that boys can be (to use Liam’s new word) di-gus-ting wasn’t really on that list.  It should have been (and they start earlier than I would have imagined, unfortunately).

For example:  Liam was watching Sesame Street the other day when Mr. Noodle made a “raspberry” sound with his mouth.  Mr. Noodle called it a raspberry — but I have gone through school with many a boy, and the sound he was making wasn’t one that I’d associate with the word raspberry.  The surprise (at least to me)?  Liam started laughing a low, guttural laugh immediately.  One of those laughs that come straight from the belly.  Mr. Noodle made the noise again, and Liam laughed again.  Apparently this is universal boy behavior…

Cut to today at the lunch table.  Liam lets loose another loud bout of gas.  The following conversation took place:

Liam:  (loudly passes gas…waits for about 1 second…) BOOM!

Shannon:  What did you just say?

Liam:  Boom?

Shannon:  What do you say when you pas gas, Liam?

Liam:  Skoo-me.

Shannon:  That’s right, thank you.

[A few minutes pass.  And then, unfortunately, so does some more gas…]

Liam:  (loudly passes gas, again)  BOOM!

Shannon:  Liam…

Liam:  Skoo-me, BOOM?

Shannon:  Close enough.

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I have a feeling that “Potty Humor” will become a theme in the near future…

Sophisticated Palate

[Scene: We’re sitting at the table eating lunch when Liam asks Gran for some of her spinach salad.  She obliges.  He then goes about picking out all of the goat cheese and asks for more, which he gets.  He’s also having ‘chicken’ nuggets and ketchup (and raisins — but they’re not pertinent to the story…).  The following is what happens next.]

Liam:  Mmmm, Mmmm!  I love goat cheese.

Gran:  I know you do.  It’s good, isn’t it?

Liam:  [Dips a large chunk of goat cheese in his ketchup and puts it in his mouth –  screwing up his mouth in a most unfortunate manner and looking mildly confused, since he’s never encountered a food that he doesn’t feel is better with ketchup.]

Gran:  That didn’t taste so good, huh?

Liam:  Di.  Gus.  Ting.

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I absolutely love the expanding vocabulary.

Soccer Sunday

Liam has been literally vibrating from being cooped up inside for so long.  He was fine for months and it’s like he just hit his wall this week.  He bounces in his bed.  He bounces on the sofas and chairs.  He runs around screaming.  He does his impression of Jennifer Beals.  It’s like another child has taken up residence in my previously calm, cool, collected toddler’s body.  It may be cold today, but it’s sunny and that was enough for us to head outside to try to burn some of that energy off with the soccer ball in the front yard.  Here are a few pictures:

The set-up:

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Action shot:

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Pele would be proud:

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Dad sets up for a family favorite: ‘Kick the ball down the hill and get Liam to run down after it and bring it back.’

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“I see you, Mama!”

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“Cheese!”

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This is my:  *I’m really going to attempt to play soccer?!* face:

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“Kick it that way!”

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Sneak attack:

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Picture of the day:

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Snap. Crackle. Pop!

Today Liam had his first rice crispy treats.  We went to the store this morning to gather ingredients and had the following conversation:

[Scene:  In the Publix in the marshmallow aisle — or the aisle that has the marshmallows and candy and such — I prefer to think of it as the marshmallow aisle.]

Liam:  What’s that?

Shannon:  Those are marshmallows.  We need them to make rice crispy treats this afternoon.

Liam:  Want, please!

Shannon:  [hands the bag to Liam to hold] Here you go.

Liam:  Mmmmm!  Marshmallows!  I LOVE Marshmallows!

Shannon:  How do you know you love marshmallows, you’ve never had one.

Liam:  Mmmm.  Marshmallows so tasty.  Marshmallows white!  Marshmallows so soft.  [Burrows the bag down in with our coats in his seat].  Marshmallows all warm and cozy.  Marshmallows snuggly.  So many marshmallows.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 marshmallows!

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After his nap, Liam and I made the rice crispy treats.  He had fun counting marshmallows (and tasting a few) and watching the butter and marshmallows melt on the stove.  Then came the best part:  the eating!

I decided to let him have at it like I do when I eat them (I prefer just to pull pieces off rather than cutting them into squares — especially when they’re still warm) and put the pan down on the table in front of him.  Here are a few pictures of the momentous occasion:

‘Thumb’s’ Up!

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I asked for a smile, I got this:

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How much do you like rice crispy treats, Liam?

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Oh, The Water

I made the mistake of trying to anesthetize Liam with 15 minutes of Sesame Street so that I could eat my lunch in peace.  I will not do that again (this week, at least).

I went into our room, expecting to find him sitting on the floor, mouth open at the wonder that is Elmo.  What I found was that he had his back to the television, he’d taken his pants off and he had a Nalgene bottle (previously full) in his lap.  This was when I realized that my foot was wet (as was half of the carpet) as well as both of his socks.  Thank goodness it was only water.

I’m pretty sure this wasn’t what Van Morrison had in mind…

Master Manipulator

Liam:  Oh.  I so sad.

Shannon:  Why are you sad?

Liam:  I so tired.

Shannon:  It’s not quite time for your nap yet, but it will be soon.  How about you go play with your blocks for a bit while I finish up my lunch and then we can read some books?

Liam:  Oh, I so sad and blue.  I needa woobie.  I feel better.

Shannon:  You can’t have a woobie until it’s time to go to sleep, so you’re going to have to wait for a little bit.

Liam:  Oh, I so sad.  Watch a little bit of TV?  Just a little bit?

Shannon:  Oh, wow.

Liam:  Oh, I pitiful.  I so pitiful.

Shannon:  You got that right.