Author: Shannon

Liam has just been diagnosed with Sensitive Gluteal Syndrome.  To be more specific, Liam has an abnormal number of nerve endings in the gluteal region causing involuntary thrashing of his limbs when contact is made.  This condition is believed to affect thousands, if not millions of children worldwide.  Accurate numbers of children suffering with SGS are unknown because the subject is taboo in many cultures.  The first step in working towards a cure is being able to talk about it, and I’d like to do my part by starting here.  Please contact your local chapter of the SGSA to see what you can do to help children in your community who may be suffering, every penny counts.

What do you think it says that I’ve been cooking for the past three hours and we still don’t have anything to eat for dinner…?

ETA: What do you think it says that I cooked for 4 hours and Matt and I ate turkey burgers off the George Foreman grill with nothing but a slice of fat free cheese and some mustard and turkey bacon as a side dish for dinner…?

Scene: The Connolly family is gathered in Liam’s bedroom playing with two small rubber playground balls.  Matt and Shannon are rolling them back and forth and Liam is passively watching.  Liam eventually grows bored with the game (of which he’s not really an active part) and wanders out of the room.  Matt and Shannon continue to roll the balls for a few seconds and eventually both are lying on the floor.  This is when Shannon hears an unfamiliar crinkling sound coming from the kitchen.

Shannon:  Liam!  Please come in here.  Liam!

(Offstage is the sound of little feet padding down the hall.)

Shannon:  (gasp) Liam!

(Liam has appeared in the doorway carrying a screwdriver he acquired by standing on his tiptoes and reaching up onto the edge of the kitchen table.  The crinkling noise, on further examination, appears to have been the bag upon which the screwdriver was balanced.)

Shannon:  I guess we can’t leave things on the table anymore, either.

End Scene.

What’s the point in spending the money and energy preparing Liam food that is mostly organic when all he will eat is sharp cheddar cheese, which we can’t afford to buy in an organic version?

If your son discovered that apple chunks make fantastic tiddly winks?  I mean, besides laugh uncontrollably while trying to remain firm and say “No” at the same time…

Your reason for having children is finally beginning to come to fruition.  That’s right, I just convinced your son that helping Mommy do the laundry is fun!  Sure, his contribution of handing me the clothes to put in the washer and then turning it on by pushing the button seems minimal now, but just you wait: by year’s end I’ll have him building us that screened porch we want.  I know, I know, why aim low with the screened porch when we can get that master suite addition?  Well (and I’m not one for lowering expectations), I do want him to get to experience mastery before really delving in.  If we just let him learn some things on his own, he’ll be better for it, I promise.  I’ve gotta go — teaching him to change the oil in my car will take a little time and I want to be sure to get it in before lunch.

Love,

Shannon

If you got a $700 water bill for an alleged usage of 74,200 gallons when your normal usage is somewhere around 4,000 gallons and the water people don’t open again until 8:30 tomorrow morning which is, of course, Friday?

ETA (since we’ve already received one phone call): Matt went outside and checked things out and found out that the meter reads what we would thought it should which means that the bill is just wrong.  Things aren’t resolved yet (obviously, since it’s only been a couple of hours since my first post) but it should be a lot simpler and more straightforward.  Theoretically.  Fingers crossed…

ETAA (preemptive to the phone call): Matt just got off the phone with the water people.  They’re going to come out and check the thing in the next 10 days.  We’re supposed to pay what we paid last month until they adjust the bill.  I don’t really trust the water people, but what else is there to do?  Fingers crossed (again).

Does the fact that several cashiers at our local Publix know Liam’s name mean that:

A) they’re just really good at customer service

B) Liam’s so cute that they can’t help but remember his name

C) we go in there entirely too often

?

So in case you hear anything odd in the skies over Atlanta today, it’s probably just the pigs flying in reaction to the fact that Liam voluntarily ate turkey yesterday, so don’t be alarmed.