Category: News

Liam just told us he needed to pee and proceeded to do so in the toilet.  I guess he heard me telling people that we were going to start back up with potty training after the New Year.  Yay!

[Scene:  Baking Christmas cookies in our kitchen]

Shannon:  It’s going to be Christmas soon, do you know what that means?

Liam:  I DO know what that means.

Shannon:  What does it mean?

Liam:  Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus!

Shannon:  [shocked and impressed] That’s right.  Do you know who else has a birthday on Christmas?

Liam:  Nope.

Shannon:  Your Pop’s birthday is on Christmas, too.

Liam:  Merry Christmas is Pop’s birthday?  Happy Birthday Baby Jesus?  Pop is Baby Jesus?

Shannon:  Ummm…

Shannon:  Liam, do you remember what Dad’s doing today?

Liam: [blank stare]

Shannon:  Dad’s flying on an airplane.  He’s going to Washington, DC.

Liam:  Dad go on plane?  Dad go Washton, ABC?

Shannon:  That’s right.

Liam:  That’s so crazy.

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[During a diaper change.]

Liam: [Crosses legs.] Oh No!  Bye bye penis.  Penis all gone?

Shannon:  It’s not gone for good, you just can’t see it right now.

Liam:  Night, night penis.  Love you so much.  See you in the morning light.

Liam:  [Uncrosses legs.] Oh!  Hello penis.  I missed you.  Sleep well?

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Liam:  Oh, Mama.  I so sleepy.  Needa go night night.  Big yawn.

Shannon: [Yawns at the mere mention of the word.]

Liam:  Oh Mama!  Big Big Yawn!  Mama so sleepy!

Shannon:  [Yawns again, again at the mere mention]

Liam:  Oh Mama, you need-a take-a nap.  Mama go night night?

Shannon:  [Yawns again, this time at the mention of the idea of actually getting to go to sleep] Mama’s a mess, Liam.

Liam:  Mama Big Big Mess!  Like Granddaddy?

We had two weeping incidents today.

The first happened this morning while we were getting Liam dressed.  I left the room for a second and then heard screams.  When I ran back in I saw Liam crying on the floor and the open dresser drawer (complete with sharp corners) above where he was lying.  He really tucked into both of us and took a while to calm.  We gave him a cursory look and didn’t find any marks, so we went on about our business.

The second happened at the Gardens.  There were several occasions where Liam was running and went face first, prostrate onto the pavers.  He cried each time, but each time he appeared fine and we just assumed he was scared by the incidents themselves instead of the aftermath and encouraged him to dust himself off and keep going.  On his final sidewalk dive he protested a bit more than the previous occasions but again, we checked him afterward and encouraged him to get up and get on with things.

Immediately after the last pavement incident he appeared fine, but a couple of minutes later I looked down and realized that he was bleeding from his lip.  It wasn’t too bad (and I guess it was probably a road rash type of bleeding, so it took a while to come to the surface), but I felt awful that my son was bleeding and I hadn’t noticed on the first pass.

Cut to tonight in the bathtub while Matt was washing Liam’s hair and he discovered a scab and small knot (presumably from the drawer incident) on his scalp.  Again, with the not noticing of the bleeding child.

Between the rash on his cheek that won’t go away, no matter what we put on it, the scratches by his nose from when I let his fingernails get to long and he scratched himself up while napping (he holds his woobie up by his face), the burn/scab on his upper lip and the knot/scab on his scalp he looks like he’s been in a losing battle of some sort.

Here’s hoping that tomorrow doesn’t bring anymore blood (or that I actually catch it when it happens if it does)!

This morning I told Liam that it was time to get dressed.  The following conversation is what followed:

Shannon:  “Liam, it’s time to go get dressed.”

Liam:  “I wanta wear de orange shirt, please.”

Shannon:  “Well, okay.  Let’s see what’s clean and in your drawer.”

[The only orange shirt of his that I could think of is an orange thermal with tiny blue stripes, so I began digging in his drawer for it.  I was holding him at the time, so he could see in the drawer.  I pulled out the thermal and showed it to him.]

Shannon:  “Here’s an orange shirt, how about this one?”

Liam:  [pointing to an orange and blue-striped rugby shirt] “No, Mama.  I want that orange one, please.”

Shannon:  “Well, okay.  Let’s get you some pants.”

Liam: [pointing to the drawer again]  “I wear blue jeans, please.”

Shannon:  “Okay then.  I guess that takes care of that then, doesn’t it.”

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We were in the Trader Joe’s this morning.  I was standing in the bread section perusing the hamburger buns when Liam started gesticulating wildly and pointing to the wall above the bread.

Liam:  “STOP.  STOP.  STOP.  I see STOP!!!”

Shannon:  “Actually, that says bakery ‘shop’ Liam, but you’re really close, that’s great!  Stop is spelled s-t-o-p, but that spells ‘shop’ s-h-o-p.”

Liam:  “Oh.  Okay.  Shop.”

I swear, the kid’s going to be reading before he’s three.  Nothing shocks me anymore.

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While we were in the Trader Joe’s, Liam made fast friends with one of the employees, as he is wont to do.  This time his friendship got him a balloon, in the color he chose (which was red).  After we finally got into the car after dealing with the groceries in the pouring rain, I tied the balloon to the door handle on the passenger’s side of my car so it wouldn’t obstruct any of my vision (especially since the weather was already horrible).

We were driving down the road, about five minutes later when the thing unexpectedly (and terrifyingly) popped.  It scared the bejesus out of me (anyone who knows me knows that I was the kid who could never win the relay on field day that involved sitting on a balloon and popping it and the idea still makes me nervous now, so this made me jump out of my skin a bit) and left Liam asking what the noise was all about.

Liam:  “Did you hear that sound?  Did you hear that?”

Shannon:  “Yep.  That was your balloon.  It popped.  I’m sorry about that, kiddo.”

Liam:  “Oh no.  Where’s da balloon?”

Shannon:  “It popped.  That means it’s broken.  It’s all gone now.”

Liam:  “Oh no.  So sad.  Balloon gone.  Liam so sad.”

I could see him in the rearview mirror and he was genuinely distressed about the loss of his balloon.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  there’s nothing worse than seeing your kid in pain/sad/distressed.  At least this time it was short-lived as several fire trucks passed us shortly thereafter with their sirens blaring at which point he forgot all about his balloon and began reciting the words from his fire truck book under his breath.  Being Liam’s mom is fantastic.  I wish I could bottle the cuteness and save it up for his adolescent years…

[Scene:  Liam is sitting at the table eating a snack while I get ready to prepare dinner.  I go to pull large pot I need out of the cabinet only to find that it’s dirty and sitting in the sink.]

Shannon:  “Oh come on.  Really?”

Liam:  “What’s wrong, Mama?”

Shannon:  “The pot I needed for dinner is dirty so I’m going to have to wash it before I start cooking.”

Liam:  “I’m so sorry, Mama.  I’m so sorry.”

Too sweet for words.

(I went into Liam’s room this morning to get him up and ready for the day.  The following conversation is what awaited me.)

Shannon:  Good Morning, Liam!  How did you sleep?

Liam:  No good morning Mama.  I want Da.

Shannon:  Well, Da had to go to the dentist this morning, so I’m going to get you up today.

Liam:  No want Mama.  Da get Liam up, please.

Shannon:  Da’s already gone, so you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.

Liam:  Go back asleep.  Night night.  Wake up morning Da get Liam up.  Night night.  See you in the morning light.  Sleep well.

Shannon:  Well, I guess this means Mama gets the day off.  I’ll let you know when Da gets home.  Have a great day.

Liam:  Night night, Mama.  Go get Da?

I think it’s a really good thing that Matt’s going to be here for a few extra days this week.  Rejection this early in the morning will be a hard pill to swallow if I have to do it for days on end…

For the past week, when I’ve walked past a certain point in my kitchen I’ve smelled bleach.  For the first five days, I tried to convince others that they smelled it, too.  They didn’t.  Then, two days ago Matt finally smelled it too.  We didn’t figure out what was causing it, but at least I didn’t feel crazy.

Tonight when I went to pour myself a glass of milk, I noticed a giant puddle on the floor.  I called Matt in to investigate, hoping that it was merely spillage from the dishwashing he’d just finished.  It was definitely coming from under the sink.  Upon further inspection Matt determined it wasn’t coming from the pipes.  It was coming from a bottle of bleach solution I’d used to clean the grout in the bathroom.  It was flowing out of the spout like a faucet.

Matt:  “I want you to know that I’m blaming this on you.”

Shannon:  “How could you possibly blame this on me?”

Matt:  “Well, you obviously created a vacuum.”

Shannon:  “How could I possibly have created a vacuum inside a spray bottle?”

Matt:  “I don’t know, but I’m blaming it on you anyway.”

On the upside, the bottom of the cabinet and the kitchen floor in front of it are really, REALLY clean.

I’ve never been to Vegas (nor do I have any desire to do so), but something tells me that if I were a betting woman, it would feel much like home improvements to me.  The latest gamble is paint-related.

On Saturday we headed to Lowe’s to pick up some paint.  We even bought samples and tested them out to make sure that we were buying the right thing.  I had some doubts about the color we picked for the treadmill room (grey-blue), because it looked more grey than I had intended, but it turned out that as it dried, it looked great.  The beige color we picked for the hall and the office also looked great and I couldn’t wait to get it up on the wall.

Before we got the chance to work on the office and hallway, Matt had to replace two fluorescent fixtures in the office.  Both lights had gone completely caput and it’s hard to do a good job painting without light.  He got the new lights installed and we began painting the hall and office.  We then tried for about 8 hours to convince ourselves that the grey/purple tint of the the walls was due to the new lighting and the fact that the ceiling and trim were still an awful dingy, dirty yellow.  It turns out the lighting wasn’t the problem.

Today, my mom and I continued work on the office and hall.  I was working on trim and she was cutting in around the ceiling with the beige paint.  She used up the first can of beige and moved on to the second.  As she was finishing up I came in and noticed that the paint she had used from the second can was a different color than that from the first.  She thought that maybe it was because it was wet and the walls were dry.  I knew in my gut that that wasn’t the case since the second color looked like the sample.  It did not look at all like the prison grey on the rest of the wall.

I began inspecting the two paint cans.  The dots of paint on the two lids are different colors.  I went and got the sample paint can.  I began comparing numbers.  The color name is the same.  The Lowe’s secret paint-mixer numbers are the same.  The “tinter” was different.  The sample and the second paint can are the same (Tinter B).  The first paint can is different (Tinter A).

Matt’s on his way home now so that we can eat dinner and he can go deal with getting a replacement can of paint at the Lowe’s.  If only they could give me a refund on my time.

Update:  We just returned from our 5th visit to Lowe’s in three days.  The first thing we discovered is that the designation “Tinter A” vs. the designation “Tinter B” simply means that the cans were mixed on different machines.  The second thing we learned is that our painting techniques are flawed in about 83 different ways.  The third thing that we learned is that when I say that I think we should bring both the first (incorrectly colored) can of paint and the second (correctly colored) can of paint we should bring both.  The fourth thing we learned is that my eye is rarely wrong.  After getting home and putting both colors up on the wall to confirm that they are, in fact, different colors, Matt is headed to Lowe’s for the 6th trip in 3 days, this time with both cans of paint in tow.

Update #2:  Matt just got back from Lowe’s.  We learned a 5th lesson: machines are sometimes wrong.  What appears to have happened is that the two machines at Lowe’s are calibrated differently.  One is correct.  The other isn’t.  What remains to be seen is whether the paint for the treadmill room was affected as well.  Hopefully if this one’s wrong we’ll catch it before we’re almost finished.

All I wanted was a beige wall.  Now I also want chocolate.