As it turns out, the initial key to potty training is training the parents. Every kid learns in a different way. Some people have success with the one day potty bootcamp approach. Some parents wait until the child is old enough to say they’re ready to use the potty. Some parents spend months and months working on gradually teaching the child to learn their body’s signals. Still others work and work and try several different approaches only to end up with a 4 year-old who refuses to use the toilet (for one reason or another). The real catch is that no solution works for every child and the parents are a much bigger X-Factor than anyone really thinks about when they’re in the moment. Because in the moment? It’s frustrating.
I was lucky enough to have had the chance to work with a child in my care on potty training. In his case it was a lot easier because his parents waited until he was older than average so he was already more aware of his bodily functions and had the benefit of watching his friends at school as they learned to use the potty. I basically gave the kid massive amounts of fluids and spent a couple of days hanging out in the bathroom (followed by several weeks of him running around without any britches on) and he got it. There were accidents, of course, but in general he grasped the concept right off the bat.
Lately we’ve been trying to figure out the best approach to use with Liam. It’s cold, so running around naked isn’t as easy (or comfortable) as it will be in a few months. Familiarity and regularity are key concepts, so we’ve begun making regular trips to the toilet (at the same time each day) to sit for a while and read a book and see if anything comes about. We’re trying to make it as low pressure and fun as possible without slipping back into our earlier pattern of Liam saying he needed to go to the potty all day long (when he didn’t) because he knew that we would read to him, because sitting in the bathroom all day isn’t fun for us and it’s not really teaching him anything, either. For several days I’ve been trying to put him on the potty at times that he’d go after he’s trained (right now that means before and after naps, and I figured we’d move on from there after some success).
The timing before his nap is more about teaching him that we try to go to the bathroom before going to bed. The timing after his nap was a new addition because I’d noticed that his poop pattern had begun to be that he’d wake up from his nap, I’d change his diaper, and almost immediately he’d poop. Aside from wasting diapers and increasing time on the changing table, this had the positive effect of triggering the idea to try potty time immediately after waking. And today, boys and girls? Today, it worked.
I put him on that toilet and made it through only a couple of pages of Mister Rogers’ potty book and like clockwork, he went. I, of course, made a huge deal out of it (he’s been wandering around for the last 45 minutes spontaneously saying “Mama SO proud! I go poop in da potty!”) so I think he absorbed something positive from the experience (at least I hope so).
Now if I could only figure out when he’s peeing…
Go Liam.