Children’s Literary Critic

I have read a large number of children’s books to Liam, and I am critical of a number of them. Here are my complaints:

Retellings of the original story are popular ideas, even more popular than the original. There should be a warning labels for these kinds of books, like “The Wolf Who Cried Boy” or a book about the 3 pigs where they break the 4th wall. Liam doesn’t know the original story yet, people!

When writing dialog, do not have lines from different characters back to back without identifying the speaker. Also, keep it simple. “Frog says, ‘hello'” is 1000 times better than “‘hello,’ wept Frog.” Don’t make me do voices just because you can’t write good dialog.

Please don’t have bad behavior unless the one acting badly is immediately eaten or bitten by fleas.

No French phrases, thank you very much.

Always have a “The End” page.

The End.