Category: News

I just got pooped on.  I don’t remember how long it’s been since this happened, but it’s a long time.  Liam is a toddler now.  Toddlers eat more and varied things.  Liam did not eat more and varied things the last time this happened.  The wipes ran out in the middle of said incident.  I’ve washed my hands 3 times.  I still feel dirty.  I’ve gotta get a potty-training plan ASAP.

Liam has become VERY interested in the Bible lately.  He has a children’s version that was given to him by the folks at NDPC after he was born.  The other day we were in his room and he wanted to read the “green book” from his shelf, so I pulled it down.  He couldn’t take his eyes off it and we read for at least 20 minutes (this is a long time for him to sit still for something that doesn’t involve PBS).  This morning Matt had read him Genesis in its entirety before 8am.  Is it sacrilegious to read the Bible on the toilet?  If so, we’re in trouble.  My hope is that after a little coaching he’ll stop referring to Adam by saying “There’s the naked man!”

Because Lynne and Jim were with us when we purchased our pumpkins, Liam refers to all pumpkins as “Grammie and Pop Pumpkins.”  I tried correcting him once, but he has such conviction.  In case you didn’t know, conviction is very cute on a toddler.

Liam has long been a sausage-eating vegetarian.  I respect his ideals so I tonight I fed him a bowl of noodles and vegetables for dinner.  He proceeded to eat at least half of my (chicken) Swiss Enchilada.  His noodles and veggies are still sitting on the table, untouched.  I think kids were created to keep us on our toes.

(Multiple times daily.  Uttered by me.  Over and over.)

“Liam, please don’t play in the recycling bin.  Close it up.  Right now.”

“Liam, please get out of the refrigerator.  Mama needs you to stop turning out the light, she can’t see what she’s looking for when you do that.  We don’t play in the refrigerator.  We’re wasting energy when the door’s open.  We’re not having milk right now.  You may have water.  If you throw a fit like that you can spend a little time in time out.  Thank you for coming out of the refrigerator, you made a good choice.”

“Liam, please don’t take the lid off Mama and Daddy’s laundry basket.  Please put it back.  Please leave the clothes alone.  Right now.”

“Liam, we’re not watching TV right now.  Turn it off.  Right now.  1….2….Thank you for listening, maybe next time you can be a helper a littler earlier.”

“I’m sorry Liam, but Mama’s hungry too and you have the same thing on your plate, so please eat yours.  It’s exactly the same as Mama’s.  If you keep that up you can get down from the table.”

“Library books are big boy books.  You need to be careful with them.  We can read them together, but please don’t spread them all over the house and try to tear them secretly.  We’re putting the books back up on the shelf.  We’ll read them together later.”

“Liam, don’t touch the buttons on the stove.  You just turned off Mama’s timer.  Now you turned off the oven.  You know you’re not supposed to touch the stove.  Time out.  Right now.”

“Please stop rubbing the food on your hands into your pants.  You don’t have enough clothing to change your clothes three times per day.  Fine, you can eat lunch naked.”

“Liam, we don’t play in Mama and Daddy’s bathroom.  It’s not safe.  Please come out.  Right now.”

You get the gist.

(To preface this:  Matt and I have been trying for months to get Liam to give us a kiss.  Prior to this week he would only kiss his stuffed monkey (or dogs, or pillows, or the wall, but never his parents).  This week he began kissing (after a brief fascination last week with our good-bye kisses in the morning, which he would ask us to repeat again and again) us, but only on the lips.  His favorite time to do this is when he’s smeared with food.  Licking me when I close in for the kiss is another favorite.  When this conversation took place we were sitting at the table eating dinner.  Liam was smeared with hummus from head to toe, quite literally.)

Liam:  “Give Mama kiss?  Mama kiss.”

(I lean in and pucker up and he kisses me on the lips.)

Liam:  “Give Da kiss?  Da kiss.”

(Matt leans in, but Liam won’t meet him halfway, and immediately turns his attention back to me.)

Liam:  “Give Mama kiss?  Mama kiss.”

(I lean in and pucker up and he kisses me on the lips.)

Liam:  “Give Da kiss?  Da kiss.”

(Matt leans in and puckers up and Liam won’t meet him halfway so Matt tries to get him to give a kiss on the cheek.  This is yet another skill that Matt’s been trying to help Liam learn for months.)

Matt:  “Why don’t you give me on the cheek instead?”

Liam:  “No kiss cheek.  I like kiss mouth.”

At least the kid knows what he likes.

(Hmmm…there seems to be a theme today)

Liam:  “Da go work.  Bye bye Da.  Da come home?  Not now.  Little bit.  Da come home.  Da come soon.”

Shannon:  “So you think he’s coming soon, huh?”

Liam:  “Might be.  Might be.”

Liam:  “Da go work.  Da come home?”

Shannon:  “That’s right, Daddy is at work right now.  Don’t you think he’s coming home?”

Liam:  “Praaaabbbbly?”

Shannon:  “Definitely.”

Liam:  “Praaaabbbbly.”

Parroted phrase of the moment:

“Oh, gracious!”

Used in a sentence: “Oh gracious, nose runny!”

Runners up: “Oh geez!” and “Oh my gosh!”

Awesome.

A few minutes ago, Liam pooped in the potty.

After he was finished I put him in a pull-up (they’re soooo much easier to put on a squirming kid while he’s standing up, so I’ve started using them for the times when he successfully uses the potty).

After that he ran into our bedroom and turned on the television.

After that I went into our bedroom and told him to turn it off.

He ignored me.

I told him again, this time making sure he knew that he would go into time out if he chose not to do what I told him to do.

He ignored me again.

He went into time out.

I went into his room to release him and talk to him about what he had done to get there.

I opened the door and found him standing in his room, naked-as-a-jaybird from the waist down.

I guess those easy-off sides work just as well as advertised.

I’m not afraid to use duct tape in the future.  I may not be smarter than Liam, but I have access to more materials…

Liam doesn’t use the word “yes” but he’s got the meaning down pat.  Instead of “yes” he says “O.K.”  Here are some examples:

———————————————–

Liam:  “Mama please carry.  Please back up.  Please carry.”

Shannon:  “Liam, would you like for me to pick you up?”

Liam:  “O.K., O.K., O.K.”

———————————————–

Shannon:  “Liam, we’ve gotta get dressed so we can go to the store soon.”

Liam:  “Get aaaaallllll ready.”

Shannon:  “Yep, we’ve gotta get all ready.”

Liam:  “O.K. aaaaallllll ready.  O.K. go to store.  O.K. RIGHT NOW!!!”

———————————————–

Liam:  “Mama muffin.  Muffin cool off.  ‘Nother muffin, please.  Muffin numnumnumnum.”

Shannon:  “Lemme guess, you want a muffin?”

Liam:  “Muffin, O.K.  Muffin O.K.”

———————————————–

I think you get the picture and in case you wondered:  yes, it is completely adorable!