Category: News

Hi, it’s me again.  I just thought I’d let you know (once more) how much I appreciate your ability to schedule deliveries.  Today was even better than last time because this time my husband called to “schedule” an appointment in advance and was told that our delivery would be made between 10:30am and 1pm.  So although you already know that I don’t have anything else to do besides wait for you to arrive, I appreciate you looking after my well-being and giving me the go-ahead to enjoy my free time before 10:30 and after 1.  I know you’re busy, so I’ll excuse the fact that you showed up at 4.  Also, it’s truly fantastic that you didn’t leave my shipment on my lawn and instead brought it all the way down the driveway before leaving it outside in opened boxes.  (I’m sure the man who stopped by after you made the delivery with his truck gate open asking about “thinning out our monkey grass” appreciates the placement of those boxes as well.  Score one for you–not only do you make customers happy, you make monkey-grass-thinning strangers happy, too!)  Also, I know that we’re friends because everyone knows that being friends means never having to say you’re sorry and you didn’t apologize when my husband called for the fifth time to see where the driver was.  It’s good to know that customer service is still alive and well!

Many thanks and much love,

Shannon

Matt and I have long had a policy that our furniture must also, whenever possible, do double duty as additional storage. You see, I have a lot of stuff, and an inability to throw things away and that means that storage is key. The flaw in this plan, it seems, is that those fantastic storage cubbies in our furniture can now only safely be used to store Liam’s toys or things that we don’t mind him eating or tearing apart…

There are certain members of my family who would no doubt respond that the solution is to just throw everything out. There are other certain members of my family (from whom I have inherited an obvious hoarding gene) who totally understand my lack of the ability to throw things away.

This certainly underscores my love of cabinet doors on everything and takes it (in my mind) from a seemingly frivolous preference to an absolute necessity. Now if we only had thousands of dollars just lying around with no other purpose but to provide for the purchase of furniture with doors…

This morning Liam really wanted to get to the laptop Matt was using on top of the sofa.  So, of course, he proceeded to put one hand on the couch, then the other hand, and pulled to a stand.  Then, also of course, Matt still wouldn’t let him have the laptop (see earlier post, YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?) , and he promptly sat back down on the floor and whined and pouted.  Toddlerhood is gonna be a blast!

Total number of diapers I’ve changed today: 6

Total number of diapers involving poop I’ve changed today: 5

So this morning at the breakfast table as I was feeding Liam his oatmeal, my hand brushed across a sticker on my shirt.  It was a small M.  It was stuck directly on the front of a certain appendage.  I wore this shirt yesterday–all day–including a trip to Candler Park for Matt’s last kickball game.  I think the M stands for Mommybrain.

Welcome back from vacation!

We wanted to inform you of a few things that have changed in your absence and will affect your current position:

First, all potential hazards that used to be of no interest to the project subject have become interesting during your leave. Don’t worry–everything that was interesting and dangerous before you left is still in the line of fire–we didn’t want to change everything on you all at once!

Secondly, we wanted to make sure you realize that the subject now moves at approximately eight times the speed he previously did. Part of the newfound agility includes the continual desire to pull up to a standing position. The subject cannot currently perform this task, yet he makes efforts to this end almost constantly. This usually results in what has been previously coded as a “bonk,” and generally occurs in the cranial region. The subject does not enjoy this and will make his displeasure known. Please make a note of this in your records.

Also, due to the increase in size and variation in intake of the subject’s diet since your leave began, there will undoubtedly be changes in his output. He generally waits until the night shift leaves before making any notable output. Also, due to budget constraints, we have been forced to lay off your assistants.  We wanted to make sure that you’re aware of this change so that you aren’t alarmed when faced with the results.

Additionally, as the subject has matured, you might be excited to try new things on your first day back. Please refrain from doing this, as it only assures frustration and eventual failure. This will negatively affect our data and we’d prefer that you keep this in mind as you go through your day.

If you have any questions, please remember that you must answer them yourself as you are the supervisor.

Thanks and welcome back!

-The Management