Likes:
Electrical sockets, cords of any kind, running his fingers along greased sliding glass door tracks (and licking said finger when finished), crawling through or over anything that might cause bodily harm, splashing bathwater with such force that it floods the bathroom, eating toilet paper, ripping magazines, laptops, dishwashers (inside only), refrigerators (also inside), scratching, and biting.
Dislikes:
Lotion, having his diaper changed (unless he’s allowed to stick his hand in poo), putting on pajamas, the hours between 3:30 and 7, napping past 2pm, sleeping past 6am, highchairs, children’s toys, haircuts, riding in the carseat, and having his fingernails clipped.
Please send CVs to shannon@losinghermind.com.
Serious inquiries only.