Liam has a cold. He was up at 11:30pm and 3:30am because he couldn’t breathe. Here’s how the morning went:
7:45am: Matt returns from his run and soothes Liam, trying to convince him that he needs to sleep very badly.
8:15am: Liam is completely over trying to sleep, Matt gets him up.
8:45am: I finally get Liam to try eating breakfast and put on a pot of coffee for myself to try to soothe my throat and wake me up enough to exist.
9:05am: My waffles are finished and I pour myself a cup of coffee.
9:07am: I sit down at the table, starving.
9:07:08am: Liam informs me that he needs to poop.
9:07:47am: Liam is sitting on the toilet and I’m trying to swig some coffee while sitting on the edge of the tub reading books.
9:30am: No poop and 10 books later, Liam gets off the toilet.
9:31-9:59am: I run around trying to get Liam (and me) ready to go get a (completely necessary) haircut and trip to the Farmer’s Market.
10:00am: We leave the house hungry (well, I’m hungry…), but in plenty of time to get to the appointment with 5 minutes to spare.
10:45am: Finally arrive in Decatur at Miss Lisa’s 15 minutes past our appointment time.
10:46am: Liam begins weeping and will not let go of me to be put in the chair to have his hair cut.
10:47am: Miss Lisa and I forcibly remove him from my body and get him into the chair.
10:48-11:05am: Liam screams, wails, and cries (despite the paci and woobie I have given him in a bribery attempt) for his entire haircut making it (seemingly) completely impossible for Miss Lisa to cut his hair. Somehow she still manages to give him a better cut than previous hairdressers have when he was in a good mood.
11:06am: Liam is covered in sweat, tears, and snot to which all the hair is sticking (big surprise: he refused a cape) and he’s now flailing wildly and screaming “ITCHY, ITCHY, ITCHY” and clawing his neck.
11:07am: We remove him from the chair in an attempt to get him to allow us to get the offending hair off his neck and face.
11:08am: We give up. I pay Miss Lisa while apologizing profusely (although she truly seems not to mind, which is the reason that we will continue to drive (what should be) 30 minutes to go see her). I run out with my tail between my legs.
11:09-11:10am: I try to soothe Liam outside the car enough to get him to release his grip so that I can strap him in.
11:11am: We head home. Organic apples be damned. No errands are worth attempting at this point.
11:35am: We arrive home, still covered in hair, and commence watching Sesame Street, complete with paci and woobie. I’m toast. Speaking of toast…
12:03pm: I attempt to feed Liam lunch. He eats half a cheese stick and takes 2 swigs of milk. He’s clearly finished.
12:30om: I put Liam down for a nap.
12:31am: Workmen in our neighbor’s yard commence throwing materials, screaming, and laughing approximately 20 feet from Liam’s bedroom window. They aren’t yet aware that if I even perceive that they have prevented Liam from sleeping 30 seconds less than he needs there will be hell to pay.