All three of us are fine, and (I’m not sure whether this is good or bad) my innocence bit the dust a long time ago, but there has been a recent death in the house. To fully explain this story I need to go back to last year.
So it seems that at some point during the work that was going on in our downstairs family room there was a cardboard box that became designated as the spot for all smaller home-improvement-type things (measuring tape, nails, screws, etc.). It also seems that at some other point my husband designated this box as the perfect spot to put the dead bugs that he either found or killed while working downstairs. I didn’t discover this until a few weeks ago after the box in question had been moved upstairs and I made the unfortunate carcass discovery while looking for a spare nail. It wasn’t pretty (my reaction or the actual bodies), to say the least.
Fast forward to last week. It was the end of the day and I was completely exhausted. It had been a long very-short-nap-filled day, my ankle was swollen, my knee was aching and I was ready to have dinner and go to bed. Matt was putting Liam down in the other room, so I was quietly trying to put some leftovers in a bowl and carry them downstairs to relax with a little Tivo. That’s when I heard it. Shortly afterwards, I saw it. It was some sort of a flying beast that would obviously attack and sting me multiple times about the face and neck if it got the chance. I didn’t scream because Liam was sure to be almost asleep by this point, but I did what any sensible 29 year old woman would do and I ran away. After Matt came downstairs (much later because, as it turned out, he thought that I had gone downstairs for some alone time) to find me I informed him of the situation and told him that I wasn’t going back upstairs until he found and killed the thing. He spent a great deal of time looking but didn’t manage to locate the hairy beast anywhere. Then he convinced me to come upstairs (which basically only succeeded because I was completely exhausted and my bed is upstairs) where I had daydreams about being attacked in my sleep, but managed to fall asleep and stay that way, attack free.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I (once again) needed a nail and I glanced in the bug graveyard to see if I saw any. Right there on top was the hairy, stinging, beastly (and obviously extremely poisonous) creature. He clearly knew that I was too much of a match for him and died in the only appropriate place in which to do so. For this, I am grateful.