This is my new policy, parents beware:
If you allow your ill-mannered children out on Halloween night in my neighborhood and they are 1) clearly illiterate and 2) extraordinarily inconsiderate and therefore either can’t read the sign that says to take ONE piece of candy or the other part of that same sign that says a baby is sleeping inside the house or just don’t care and first read the sign but then scream and steal all the candy I will be forced to shoot your children. The fact that I am a pacifist who fervently believes in gun control will have no bearing on this edict. Chocolate theft is serious business. Consider yourself forewarned.