All I wanted when I woke up this morning was a muffin and a cup of decaf coffee. If I’m being honest, I actually wanted caffeine in my coffee but baby, reflux, yadda, yadda, yadda, I digress. So after showering I decided to cook/bake something for the first time in weeks. I used a mix that only required water, so it wasn’t any sort of miracle, but for me these days it was a big deal. I got everything all ready to go in the muffin tins and had my back turned to the preheating stove when I started making coffee. That was the first mistake.
Never turn your back on my stove.
As my back was turned I began to smell, instead of freshly-baked muffins, something that smelled like charred bacon drippings. When I turned my head there was smoke pouring out of the vent. My first thought (as I’ve been well-trained by the crappiness that is my stove) was to turn on the whole house fan and open the window to avoid setting off the smoke detector. I did that and then dared to open the oven door where I found drippings of some sort pouring smoke from off of the easy-wipe pad that is supposed to help to avoid this very problem. Turns out that only works if you actually WIPE OFF THE PAD.
I am now sweating bullets (fan or no fan it’s HOT outside) and will sit down momentarily to eat my smoky orange-cranberry muffins and have my cup of decaf coffee while pooling in sweat in my sweltering kitchen, thus negating the shower I just took (also a major feat).
Is it January yet?