A couple of weeks ago Liam had his first trip to the dentist. It basically ended up being a very expensive professional toothbrushing experience, but the hygienist said that in her opinion it makes for better future experiences if the first time isn’t traumatic, so she showed him all the equipment and did as much as she could. Then the dentist came in to count his teeth and check to make sure that they’re healthy. All was well with the exception of his front teeth. As I think I made obvious with the title of this post, this was the result of almost three years of daily pacifier use. It’s been a while since he used his paci for anything but sleeping, but it was becoming clear that it was time to give it up.
Then came the hard part.
Let me preface this by saying that I have absolutely no idea why this went down the way that it did. I honestly started the discussion with Liam with every intention of just talking about not using the paci anymore followed by a period of perhaps just taking naps without it before phasing it out completely. Our boy was (and unfortunately, still is) very attached to his paci and this was not the best time to add any more sleep disturbances to our house than we already have. But in having a discussion with him (this was not our first discussion about the topic, and he brought it up himself, which may be why I got all gung-ho about it) about the paci and how he is a big boy and he doesn’t need his paci anymore and that soon he was going to sleep with only his woobie I found myself telling him that he could have it at his nap that day and then that night would be his first night without it.
As anyone who has had kids (and has a similar parenting style) knows: once you’ve laid down the law, you’ve gotta follow through. As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I hadn’t said it, but it was already too late. Setting limits is especially important for Liam right now and I see part of my parenting job as being the wall that he comes up against. When he knows the rules and the limits, he’s far better behaved (perhaps with the exception of the several weeks following Paige’s birth, but in all fairness I truly believe that he had lost his mind during that time period, and he came around to being the boy we all know and love in about a month’s time…with most rules and limits intact, I might add).
The next step (apparently) was to concoct a story about how the paci fairy was going to come and take his pacifiers and give them to babies who need them (since big boys and girls don’t need pacis, but babies do). We started by making an envelope for the pacis and decorating it for the drop-off.
Brave face:
Honest face:
Next came the ceremonious paci pass-off (I decided — while making up everything as I was going along — that the paci fairy uses the USPS to receive her pacis for distribution).
The final step was a promised (and much anticipated by Liam…you know, for the whole 8 hours that this process lasted from conception to fruition) bubble blowing session with Dad and an impromptu romp around the yard afterwards.
The real work began when Matt had to put him to bed that night. There were tears. Lots of tears. Big old pitiful crocodile tears. I heard the phrase: “I’m so sad” uttered by my son just enough times to break my heart into a thousand pieces. When Matt replied that it was okay to be sad, but that it was something that needed to happen because Liam is a big boy now and I heard Liam say “but I don’t want to be a big boy, I want to be a little boy, I want my paci” I was very glad that I was rocking Paige in the next room. It was pretty horrible to listen to, the worst part being, of course, that I knew that I had caused him pain and I never want to cause him pain.
Nowadays he still asks about his paci in passing and often wakes up from his naps wondering aloud where his paci is, but things are going much more smoothly.
I’d love for Paige to take to the paci for soothing purposes, but if I don’t have to go through this again it will be okay by me.