Number of articles of clothing/burp cloths/exersaucer seats/changing pads covered in poop as of 8:45am = 0
Number of articles of clothing/burp cloths/exersaucer seats/changing pads covered in poop as of 8:46am = 8
Number of parental units in our house at 8:45am = 2
Number of parental units in our house at 8:46am = 1
Number of poop-covered feet on our baby at 8:46am = 2
Number of poop-covered feet in our baby’s mouth at 8:47am = 2
Number of poop-covered hands on our baby at 8:47am = 0
Number of poop-covered hands on our baby at 8:47:30 = 2
Current approximate height of our baby = 27″
Approximate number of inches of our baby (in height) covered in poop at 8:48am = 23″
Approximate height of our baby’s head = 7″
Approximate depth of our baby’s belly button = 1/2″
Approximate amount of our baby’s belly button filled with poop at 8:48am = 75%
Total number of crevices between our baby’s toes = 8
Total number of crevices between our baby’s toes covered in poop at 8:48am = 7
Number of baths required in our house as a result of the events of the morning = 2
Number of moms in our house who need a vacation = 1