I’m a little concerned that I’m being followed. You see, when I used to go running in Morningside, there was this dog. I never actually saw this dog, but I did see the ‘results’ of his presence quite regularly in the middle of the sidewalk. I just couldn’t understand how anyone could let their dog lay a load in the middle of the sidewalk and then not clean it up. I finally came to the conclusion that this was an ownerless dog and that he roamed the neighborhood freely relieving him(or her)self all over the place. I regret to report that this phantom wandering neighborhood dog has followed us to our new house. I’m sure he (let’s just go with that pronoun since we know that no self-respecting woman would do that) has been letting loose out on the streets since we moved, but I was very pregnant for a very long time and then I was completely exhausted from the process of becoming unpregnant for a very long time so I didn’t have the energy to roam the neighborhood. Because I have been convinced to run the half-marathon on Thanksgiving I am roaming the neighborhood streets quite regularly and I’m here to tell you that our friend has returned. Every day he leaves a new gift and I spend the first full loop of each run looking to see what he’s marked since the previous run. There’s always evidence of his presence and unfortunately it never rains anymore. Forget the plants and Lake Lanier, the real crisis is the poop buildup on our streets.
Do phantom dogs respond to restraining orders?